Today April 20, 2016 I turned 5o years old. I have a wife and two boys one 4 and one 2 years old which keeps me on my toes, daily! I love my wife and boys to the moon and back, twice and to infinity and beyond (Seth and I started saying this now we all do) which gives me a lot of drive to succeed in life. In this post I want to share three things that I’ve learned as a husband and father.
1. Trust God: I didn’t get married until I was 43 years old which was a good thing and presented challenges, too. When you are a single 43 year old you have little to no responsibilities other than taking care of yourself and your needs. Things change when you get married and have children in every area of life.
Trusting God has been my staple in life because at 50 I am still learning how to do life especially as a married man. I ask God daily for wisdom and guidance because my decisions not only affect me but also my family and our future.
About 6 months after Brenda and I got married I quit my job where I had been for over 6 years. I worked for a friend of my briefly and then took a job with a company with less pay and more physical requirements. To make matters worse about 6 months into the job I had to have neck surgery and Brenda was pregnant with our first child.
We were barely making it before the surgery and now with disability only paying about a quarter of what I was earning it was extremely hard. I remember filling out bills and wandering how we were going to make it each month.
Time of difficulty are times for me to trust God more than ever. During that time I prayed more talking to God about our situation and letting him guide me through this difficult time. I went back to school and got my Masters which enabled me to get the job I currently have which pays me almost double what I was making during that time.
I’ve learned to trust God regardless of my circumstances no matter what others think or what ever things look like: TRUST GOD!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5
2. Build Healthy Relationships: Its been said that if a man has three good friends he is lucky or blessed. As you grow older in life you realize the importance of relationships and that they actually take effort.
I have a variety of friends that I have had in my life for some time. I have friends from my childhood, friends from the military, friends from college, work and church. Some I talk to often others not as often but they all are my friends.
I have a friend in ministry that we talk almost weekly encouraging each other and listening to each others dreams and visions for life. We don’t always agree with each other but we agree to disagree at times. Our friendship has endured time and we will be friends I predict for life.
I have some friends we don’t talk as much they have went on their life plan I on mine. One thing about friendships though is you have to be intentional and work at them or the relationship will drift and before long you’ve lost touch.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
3. Laugh at yourself and enjoy life: Don’t take yourself so seriously and enjoy life. Be able to laugh at yourself it you don’t you’ll find yourself getting stressed and filled with the cares of this world.
I’m a serious guy, I like to stay on topic and if we are trying to solve a problem stay on course. I think too much and too often about what ever I am doing and when given an assignment I go immediately to accomplish it.
I’ve had to learn that although the goal is excellence in life there has to be time to laugh or enjoy life. My wife and boys have helped me to learn this. There are times when I just pause and marvel at my boys and how they view life.
Also, there are times that I have to look in the mirror and laugh at what ever is going on in my life because it all goes back to number one Trust God and then life doesn’t look so complicated or stressful.
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22
I didn’t go back to college fulltime until I was 34 moving to Phoenix to attend Bible College. My first roommate was 50 and I remember looking at him and saying you don’t look 50 his response was “what does 50 look like?”
For me 50 looks like a half way point one that is full of more experiences but the expectation of more and new experiences. Also with two boys that are active I know I’ll be staying young for quite some time.